St. Paul's Episcopal Church

By Janet Frasier

It was this time last year that the effects of the Great Recession began to cut deeply into our family.  What were uncertain times during the summer, were now certainly bleak and destined to be long lasting.  Friends with professional careers had been out of work for months. They were facing choices anywhere from selling their homes to working out of state away from their families to taking day work just to get by.

In our own family, Patrick had been “downsized” from one position, and had begun a new job that required establishing a new sales territory at the same time corporate and government budgets were being slashed.  My organization was planning significant budget cuts.  The expenses of the supporting a family were not decreasing.  In fact, with three growing children, they were only increasing.

But it was Christmas.  For the past few years, which had already been tough for us financially, I had artfully – or through deferred spending! – provided a rich, picturesque Christmas morning for our girls.  I fully intended to do it again for Christmas 2008.  I told myself that if I could just get one great gift for each of them, perhaps it would look full and rich for them.  Perhaps their innocence buffered from the economic reality.  Three times I went to the American Girl website, ordered the desired dolls, entered the payment information.  Three times I got all the way to “Pay Now” and stopped.

Finally, on the third time, I allowed myself to realize that their “joy” on Christmas morning was not worth my anxiety in knowing that we couldn’t really afford those luxury gifts.  And, I faced the fact that buffering, or sheltering, our girls from economic reality was the worst thing that I could give them and do for our family, as Americans, as Christians, as human beings.  What our children and our family needed was peace, not shelter based upon denial.

It has been hard going to church during this economic downturn.  I have felt like I haven’t had much to give.  We fell short on our pledge for a couple years in a row, couldn’t bring ourselves to make a new pledge for 2009. That resulted in feeling that we shouldn’t be “taking” from the church, when we weren’t in a position to support it financially. We find ourselves tired from full weeks of juggling jobs, kids, and financial stress.  We wear the same clothes we’ve been wearing for years.  We look shabby.

But once I accepted that in this economy we are being called to do things differently, make new choices, I found courage. Once I was able to admit to myself that it is no longer necessary to “keep things the same”, and once we were able to talk about that openly as a family, I found that I could accept the pain of others going through tough times. Once I let myself “just show up” for church – sometimes for services, sometimes for events, sometimes just to bring the kids to Sunday School and hang out for a while – I have found peace and strength.

This year, going to church has become simply about being in community.  I look around and see people whom I know are hurting in many ways, people who are facing tough choices, people who have been deeply disappointed by the people that they love, people who are just getting by.  The important thing is that we are part of something bigger, part of a community that has come together around faith in Christ, redemptive grace, and service to one another.  When as a congregation we share the peace, it is the manifestation of God’s grace in our lives, demonstration that we are walking through these tough times, shoulder-to-shoulder, side-by-side. 

This year, I’m not sure things are much better economically.  We hear on the news that things are better. But friends are still out of work, jobs people took out of state have now been lost, many friends are making choices that they would have never anticipated. Our family is living on less money and in less square footage than we have in a decade. And we are doing just fine.

As we approach Christmas, let us be grateful for the gifts that have presented themselves to us this year. Let us find strength and shelter in coming together in community.  And let us find peace that passes understanding.